Fantastic. You don't need it? TRANSCRIPT Judge John Hodgman Ep. The trashcan in question. And... Grant, I—I can't in good conscience put a injunction on your dad's right to remember you as you were when you were younger... just cutting and punching and running and hiding— Such that you can turn to your son and say "I know it's wrong, but I'm doing it anyway." That is not acceptable to you, Karen?I normally do not eat sweets. I'm gonna keep telling these stories!" Oh, alright. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth... Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, I'll—I'll just say, uh... Reverend Jesse James autobiographyyy, maybe? JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN and BAILIFF JESSE THORN are riding the circuit to bring LIVE JUSTICE to a stage near you. Judge John Hodgman LIVE in Durham, NC! We'll be back in 2020 to bring you more justice.Durham, you've come to us desperate for justice! How do you defend yourself against your son's accusations that you have been misusing his life in the sermons?I guess I usually just respond with, you know, "I'll give you five bucks, you know, for royalties." And one of them was puppetry, and he was doing puppet characters like at the age of three!And he was memorizing scripts, and—and so storytelling was always kind of a part of our relationship, you know?Right. Apr 17 – 8:00 PM You know, take his mind off it and—you know, "You're gonna be a butterfly!" It was on an island near San Francisco called Angel Island. And that—and what sort of things would he tell that were so embarrassing? What's the—I make it for Karen, and anyone else who wants to enjoy it.It does not look like a David Cronenberg horror movie.So the evidence is you make beautiful-looking cakes, and they're delicious.And you want to make your sister a cake for her birthday that is not the junk cake that she desires.And do you have a birthday coming up any time soon?I was going to say, "Ali, it seems like case closed! I thought it was gonna be lack of impulse control, but sure. Um... and she's been increasing it by ten seconds every day for the past year. Now that Grant has expressed that, does that make you feel differently about telling the stories?I think they've—make me feel... more sensitive to... using stories that are gonna still put him in a very positive light.You know, I don't ever wanna say anything or do anything that would intentionally embarrass him or upset him, but I—it definitely makes me think more about, you know, being sensitive to... Alright. Dec 16 – 8:00 PM So it's—it covers vocal stories, but then also written word. And we're here at the Carolina Theatre to deliver it! Yeah, I'll be either just singing on purpose and if either I don't know the words or if there's a natural pause in the song, and I'm like, "This needs a little rapping in the middle."
And then also I would say solid A for a fun story about your kid.But it feels a little—they feel shoehorned together.Whereas cutting the telephone cord—"Are you listening to me now?" Uh, because he is a published author.
is like "Bwoah!" See more of Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. And you know, Grant... Grant got in trouble a lot.Okay. "My kid's brain hasn't grown to full adulthood yet, and so they said a dumb thing, ha-ha-ha."
or. And Odyssey Books will be selling copies of Yeah! May 16 – 8:00 PM Well, I was trying to get his mind off the blood getting drawn and—He's, you know, there, and they're putting this Velcro papoose thing all around him to hold him still.So they can draw the blood, and I thought, "Well, that'd be a great idea." So when she's singing for real, it's a beautiful thing! And——ten minutes, and ten seconds. I might take some Snap Justice questions from the audience.
Feb 3 – 8:00 PM Hello?
I presume that when you're under your Barney bed, the demon speaks to you and tells you what to do? Lots of comedy, storytelling, chats from us. There actually was a picture of Megan singing "Wings Beneath My Wings" as she made a hole-in-one in mini-golf. And you brought some evidence to show the court here?Let's take a look on the screen. These are some of the questions that are answered on the Judge John Hodgman podcast, which is hosted by John Hodgman and Jesse Thorn. Proof that I was a child, and that he was a dad. This week's episode was recorded LIVE in Durham, North Carolina at the Carolina Theatre in November of 2019. Hot priest.
One gold in Bible quizzing, one gold in puppetry. Andrew and Kelly's dog Penny stalwartly watching the street for trouble. In your father's defense, that's a pretty badass story. But, uh—You know, growing up, my dad would be at the pulpit from time to time.He actually spent about 20 years as a children's minister.So he was my direct Sunday instructor for quite a while.You know, he would bring up these stories... about my childhood, about my sisters' childhood, that were a little embarrassing. Yeah, but she can read a book! When did you decide to become a pastor, if I may ask?And I was, you know, for a while. I got it.Uh, yeah. If you’d like John Hodgman to solve your pressing issue, please contact us HERE. Which of those two cakes did you enjoy more?I'm the wrong person to ask.
Spies? Sep 5 – 7:00 PM It's just a story about what a great dad you are. He's about three years old at that point.And then I—I think I start to change some colors, you know, kinda like—you know, white to dark red. The first case is "Son of a Preacher Ban."
So be sure to submit them at You know, every time we go out on tour we have a great time, they're a ton of surprises, they're completely unpredictable. And I'm not a... whatever you called me at the beginning. Next to some—a body of water. And we are looking for your cases! Looks like—that looks like a chocolate ganache to me. We're looking for you to come attend them, if you live in one of those places or regions. I like the distraction of a conversation while planking.Oh, well you just—oh, so you're just using Bridget as a— "Hey Bridget, can you come over so I can plank and have a conversation?"
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